Love Is Never a Given


A needull for your weekend. What does it take to make your relationship last? “The secret to creating happy and lasting relationships, Miller concludes, is simple: just love your partner or leave.”

Would it be fair to say that you’re applying the thinking behind arranged marriages — such as Sanjay’s parents’ relationship — to love marriages?

Yes. In the Western world, too many relationships have become disposable. As soon as a romantic relationship becomes difficult — and it always does — too many people want to leave or blame the other person, rather than work through the problems. The US divorce rate of nearly 45 percent bears this out. In arranged marriages, escape isn’t typically an option, and we know that many of them actually develop more love than non-arranged marriages, based on fascinating research conducted by Harvard Professor Dr. Robert Epstein. Most of them figure out how to make it work. They work hard at it. They learn to love each other. They learn to create love.

The complete interview

Skye C. Cleary interviews Andrea Miller

Image source

4 thoughts on “Love Is Never a Given

  1. I don’t mean to be impolite but divorce has increased in the West probably because women have become less economically dependent on men. They don’t have to put up with the authoritarian, sexist bs that they once had to.

  2. I’m glad to hear it. I imagined as much. I lived at Santiniketan W. Bengal 1987-89. One brief return in the early 90s. Only updated via the web since. 🙂

    Looks like you’re doing some really good work. Keep it up!

  3. I like the fact that the author clearly states that the idea is also applicable to work and social relationships. I think there’s a recurring pattern of prioritizing a romantic partner to such a degree that other connections wither away.

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